Bleacher Butt Syndrome

W A R N I N G
PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT ATTENDING SCHOOL ACTIVITIES HAS BEEN LINKED TO THE FOLLOWING DISEASE:
BLEACHER BUTT SYNDROME
SYMPTOMS LARGE PROTRUDING ASS, CRAVING FOR HOTDOGS, POPCORN, TWIZZLERS AND DR. PEPPER, LOSS OF MONEY AND HEARTBURN. THERE IS NO KNOWN CURE.